30 and counting!

Well, I'm 30! 

haven't blogged in a minute, so, I thought I would pick the "pen" back up. And i PROMISE to write more. not for you all, but for ME :)

so, I recently turned 30 and i feel and LOOK amazing! I'm in such a great space in life, I don't worry as much, and I don't CARE as much!

Its like I hit 30 and something clicked!! I mean, before I didn't care, but now I REALLY don't care!

When I say "I don't care", I'm meaning the silly things that used to bother me and garner a response outta me, don't anymore! I've always been the type to LET YOU HAVE IT, but, I guess it took 30 years for me to realize I don't have to! 

**disclaimer: that doesn't mean I'm gonna let you do whatever the hell you want, either :) **

anyway, enough with that!

So, a couple of new things coming soon!

My husband, Terrence, and I are working on a Marriage web series for couples! (single folks can watch too!)

We will basically be sharing our experiences thru our 5year journey/marriage. No, we aren't telling couples what they should do, or how they should do it, we are just sharing OUR experiences! More info coming soon!

We also are in the studio recording an album together to partner with the series! so lookout for that as well!

The Risk of being Misunderstood...

Misunderstood- improperly interpreted; misconstrued; not appreciated or given sympathetic understanding.

Story of my life!

I'm outgoing, sympathetic, sensitive, bold, aggressive, upfront, adventurous, courageous and amazing :-) all these descriptive words describe me, Rachel as misunderstood.

do you hate being misunderstood? Heck, who doesn’t? i think being misunderstood is my biggest frustration. i just hate the feeling that someone doesn’t know the truth about me. i hate it when someone has a stereotype or preconceived misconception about me that is totally false. i mean, i’m a pretty fun chick, but when all this needless stuff goes on, i get agitated. can you tell i was misunderstood today? lol...

on the flip side, i think the best feeling in the world is to be understood. there’s something about knowing that someone just knows you. yanno? there’s something about knowing that no matter what you do or say, that someone knows who you really are. it’s really comforting i think.

Being misunderstood makes you feel isolated. I can't even lie and say it doesn't hurt my feelings. *LET ME CLARIFY: WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT ME DOESN'T HURT MY FEELINGS. THE FACT THAT YOU MISUNDERSTOOD WHAT I SAID DOES.* Everyone wants to feel "accepted" in SOME way...no exceptions...and being misunderstood is somewhat unfair because its JUDGMENTAL in a sense. You judge me without knowing all the facts, with your assumptions, by ignoring my point of view.

Ive always grown up saying what was on my mind. My parents always told me to say what I feel and to never let anyone "gag" me in a sense. As I child I was opinionated and was very good at stating it. They may not have expected me to turn into what I am now, but HERE I AM...

The worse part of being misunderstood is when you say something that's taken negatively, but you didn't really mean what you said in the way the receiver perceived it. It's a potentially dangerous situation because feelings can get hurt, no matter how many times you explain that you didn't mean what you said in the way the person thought you meant it.

I have a habit of blurting things out sometimes without taking the time to think about possible consequences. Words are so powerful. It doesn't matter in what form they leave your body -whether through your lips as spoken syllables or through your fingers for the purposes of being read - they have the power to change things. Things I think about is how is the other person going to interpret what I say? Even if I didn't mean what I said negatively, there's always a possibility it could be taken that way.

Here are some factors that I feel contribute to misunderstandings:

1. Sometimes we are misunderstood becuz ppl don't hear us clearly.

This is the most simple cause, and can generally be cleared up with further explanation.

2. Sometimes we are misunderstood by people who have hidden motives that cloud their ability to understand what we are doing or saying.

Ppl just automatically are evil lol and perceive us as "enemies" before even hearing us out. so they're gonna think "ugh, ur rude, mean etc.."

3. Sometimes we feel misunderstood when in reality others understand us better than we think they do.

Self-Deception is a mutha, huh? lol

I truly try to work on these things DAILY. I was told being misunderstood shouldn't be a "cop out" becuz that really means ur being difficult and uncooperative. THAT'S NOT ME, PPL.

So, as I state how "unfair" I feel about being misunderstood, I also must state what can I do on my side to help the situation...

1. Walk in God's light.

that's self explanatory itself...

2. Accept misunderstandings only if we are willing to work in the best interests of those who misunderstand us.

This one kinda sucks lol but its an important test of our motives. Jesus was misunderstood by the Jews and yet He was willing to die for them. Some people are willing to be silent about being misunderstood, and they think they are following Jesus' example. But they take a "time will prove you wrong" attitude, or they resort to sulking or being uncooperative, or they remove themselves as far as possible from those who misunderstand them.

3. We must love the truth.

bottom line: We must rather be corrected than always proved right. I honestly hate reading stuff like this cuz I KNOW its right, but I get that "but its not fair!" attitude and in the end, I know its incorrect.

In conclusion, if you are misunderstood, I offer this advice to you:

Pray for those who misunderstand us-this sucks lol

Be kind and respectful toward those who slight us-I can do that :-)

Seek the good of those who judge us wrongly-huh? lol

Protect the reputation of those who slander us-ur kidding, right?

Privately work in the best interests of those who are working against us, and purposely avoid telling them what we do for them-Im a work in progress! geesh!

Thank the Lord! lol

I kinda got deep on yall, huh? well, sorry..out of the belly.....u know the rest lol

I would love for you guys to weigh in on my post! want to hear what u gotta say!

I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood!!!

now RUNTELDAT!!!

:-)

@therealmrsjames

let me Re-introduce myself, my name is Rae!

Hola ppl!

I know its been a while, but life has been doing an AWESOME job of setting me str8!

Lost some things, but GAINED as well :-)

Ive become a bit addicted to Twitter for some reason. It (the Internet) allows me to say WHATEVER I please and frankly I could care less what ppl think. That's what makes it GREAT! we ALL have our OWN opinion of things and SHOULD respect that. Some of yall don't. But, I'm trying to stay positive about YOU all who are always policing my tweets. But let me re-introduce myself...my name is Rae and I really don't care what you think. Please, don't take that last statement the wrong way. I didn't say it to be mean or nasty. Just what I feel. So take it however you like, but KNOW my intent :-)

ok...

so I'll be back later with a post thats been really in me to write

hope u enjoy!

Rae

REAL FRIENDS!

So,

as i stated in my last post, this would be a GREAT time to give thanks for my friends!!! my real ones, that is ;-)

so whats my definition of a real friend?

Real friends are people that you can cry with during the bad times and gloat with during the good times. Everyone else expects you to be politically correct in your behaviors.” What’s the point of having friends if you can’t be yourself around them?

A real friend allows u to have your OWN OPINION, and doesnt make a big deal about you having 1. yeah, i said it!! and?!?! bobby brown sang it best....

A friend is someone to cry with during the bad times. Everyone knows how great it is to have a friend during your time of need to cry on his or her shoulder. In reality, people do not like it if you cry on their shoulder for very long. So the sign of a real friend is that you can cry on their shoulder until you’re done crying. And if you are crying too long, your friend will make you snap out of it. They help you to pull yourself back together rather than just give a superficial “There there dearie” and then going on about their lives. You will be able to tell real quick who your real friends are during the crisis and uglier times of your life. They are the only ones still hanging around.

A friend is someone to gloat with during the good times. We are all taught that it is distasteful to brag and to come across as egotistical. The result is that most of us are afraid to say much of anything positive about ourselves. You are allowed to celebrate a job promotion, a marriage, or the birth of a child, but it is supposed to be done with class and style. A real friend is someone that you can call up and spend twenty minutes telling them what an awesome job you just did on a project at work and how you feel so incredibly proud of yourself and they are going to be happy for you. They are not going to chastise you for being arrogant. When you have some serious politics going on at work and you pull of a brilliant career move, your friend is going to cheer with you and laugh along with you as you succeed.

A friend is someone to rage with when life is really unfair. That is not to say they are going to help you plot your ex’s murder or anything like that, but when you are really ticked off and need to vent, they will be there for you. You can safely tell your real friends just how angry you are and they will help you find ways to dissipate the anger and to eventually let it go. Humor is a wonderful way that friends have of helping us to let go of our anger. Rather then help you plot the murder, they can throw out a few wonderfully witty comments about your ex and get you laughing again. No matter what it is that you’re upset about; your real friends will be there for you.

A friend is someone to dream with while plotting your goals. Real friends make awesome cheerleaders. They believe in you and in your ability to achieve your goals. Everyone else may be politely disinterested in what you are planning to do with your life, but your real friends will be thrilled to hear about what you are doing. They will help you to brainstorm ideas and will pitch in to help you make your dreams come true whenever possible.

A friend is someone to pray with for support. We have all seen the research and the studies show that the power of prayer is magical no matter who or what it is that you think you are praying to. The studies also show that whenever two or more people get together to pray, that the power becomes increasingly strong.

From my own experience I would like to point out that when you have a real friend pray with you instead of a well-meaning acquaintance, that the increased power is so much greater. Yes the stranger helps, but nothing beats the power of a friend’s prayers.

With real friends there is a trust level and you know that you have similar views about what is humorous and what is not. So, you can share jokes that otherwise might not be appropriate to tell "church folk" after service. Real friends laugh together.

So, i'm grateful for my REAL FRIEND, my husband!

I KNOW, ITS BEEN A MINUTE!

but its because I have quite a few things in the works! I thank God for gifting me not only with my talent/skills, but with a BRAIN to not just sit back and wait for things to come to me!!

So, what i have missed? ALOT has changed in the past couple of weeks that im so GRATEFUL for!

Nov 21st-My husband's birthday and we had a WONDERFUL surprise party for him! we had a blast! all of our great REAL friends came out and celebrated with us!

Nov 24th-we celebrated our 2 year anniversary! yup, we still love each other! no complaints here!

nov 26th-thanksgiving with the in-laws was VERY interesting....ummm, lol yeah, ill just say interesting..but thank GOD for loving IN LAWS who truly care for my well being!

so, i'm planning BH&S' next auditions: February 27th! got some GREAT things planned! I thank God for sending ppl in my life who sees my vision and wants to be apart of it.

i think that last statement is gonna spearhead my next post: FRIENDS!

brb!

Rae

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FORGIVE?

I was sitting here reading a friend's blog, viewing a video of a celebrity getting "heckled" and it made me think about the "church".

We all know about artists who have done "dirt" and we tend to magnify it more than we should. With artists like Chris Brown, ppl are so quick to STONE him! I mean, yeah he was ABSOLUTELY out of line for what he did! BUT, Rihanna was JUST AS GUILTY! the blame goes to both of them! lol sorry

with Gospel Artists....another story..lol

now, i may sound like a hypocrite when i say this but hear me out...

when certain gospel artists/pastors get caught up in foolishness, adultery, burglary and all kinds of MESS, i personally say they DESERVE everything they get. WHY U ASK? becuz theyre the main ones talking about "dont do this! dont do that! ur going to hell if u sleep around! blah blah blah!" so what ur saying is, we cant do any of this, but YOU can? hmmmm...

now theyre wondering why they're not getting any sympathy from anyone. its becuz you bash ALL THE TIME. you cant bash ME, then get caught up in MESS and not expect to get bashed YOURSELF.

but with saying all of this,

Publish Post

Why do you think its so hard to forgiven those who have fallen? I mean, if we serve a God who is a forgiving and loving God, why can't we give that same forgiveness and love?

honest answers only...

ITS BEEN A LONG TIME, EH?

Wow! its been a while, huh?

Ive neglected u all! my SINCERE apologies...

I just got caught up in SO MUCH! started my own business, traveling, tours and whatnots! God is GREAT!

So, what did I miss? or are you asking ME that?

Well, nothing has changed! im still the OUT SPOKEN, BOLD, UPFRONT, SAY WHAT I WANNA RAE! so BUCKLE YOUR SEATBELTS, SAINTS!!!!!!